Why Life!

I know that there is a much bigger reality to this world in which I live. I want to know what the reality was before I was born, and what the reality will be after my death on this earth. By this, I desire to know who I was before I was born, and what I will be after my death on this earth. I've a fear of death and what I will encounter after my death, but I'm not scared to face the reality which is true. I know that there is no real death to anyone in this world. We are all ending our earthly life for something permanent or beyond our current understanding. What is it? I don't know, but that is the search I'm having all through my life. There is no end to this search. Maybe I've to spend all my life in this exploration and get frustrated with it. I am not concerned about the sin and holiness part; all the religions teach, including the Catholic Church. These are all meant to keep order and the well-being of humanity and the whole of nature, so that we will not destroy this ground of birth and death. Other than that, there is no sense for the good and evil, sin and holiness, etc. There is a reality that is beyond our knowledge and understanding, which holds the truth of all our lives and the creation itself. There has to be something out of which we all came into existence, and therefore, we will have to return or transform into something else after our life and death on this earth. Only the being that created us and the universe will really know.